I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
