she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
