I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
