we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We have started to decorate penises.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
