So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
