If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
