Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
