just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
