It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
