How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize