This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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