Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
