Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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