i barfeds in our rink
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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