I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
