The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize