carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
