Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
