69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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