so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
