But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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