So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
