grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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