Her vagina should come with caution tape.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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