i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
