I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
