I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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