I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I want a musical about memes.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
