as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
