I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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