The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
