I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
