what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
