8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
