how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
