Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
