it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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