i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize