Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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