omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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