Define "chronic" masturbator.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
