Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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