He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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