Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
