i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
