Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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