eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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