What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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