pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize