Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
