i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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