when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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