Do vagina's smell?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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