somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
