you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
