Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
