Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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