if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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