Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
