I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
