Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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