No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
