I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
