The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
