dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
