im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
